7) Learn your partner’s love language
Have your partner list 10 things that makes them feel loved. Practice one of those things everyday. I recently texted this question to my husband and was surprised at how many things on the list I didn’t know he needed! After 9 years of marriage! It was even more embarrassing to know some of the things were easy enough to do like “Call me more during the day.” Wow! I made a screenshot of the list and have it as wallpaper on my cellphone to remind me daily of what my spouse needs. What needs does your partner have and how have you tried to meet them? It is never too late to learn your partner’s love language. Find out what they need daily to keep your relationship exciting and fresh.
6) Be game for anything
It can be difficult to come up with fun, exciting things to do given your busy schedules. When your partner suggests something, be open to saying yes. You never know. You might both discover something you really enjoy doing together. Even if it’s cuddling up to see his favorite movie for the 100th time. Your partner knows how many times you both have done this before and will appreciate your openness to do it again. Try not to make your partner feel guilty for asking you to try new things. It’s better, and safer, for them to try new things with you than with others out there.
5) Have a “first date” regularly
Instead of having regular date night, have a date that simulates your first date. Wear something like what your wore then. Maybe visit the same place. The nostalgia of your first date can help rekindle the fire that attracted you both in the first place. I find that sometimes it’s hard to think of exciting new date ideas so I try to keep it simple. Work on a 1000 piece puzzle at home sipping on a relaxing beverage together. Take a drive around each one of your hometowns and tell the story of your youth. Take turns planning the dates. You’ll both get a chance to introduce your partner to something they may not have tried on their own. I’ve gone roller skating with my husband even though we both have no idea how to roller skate. The young teens skating, expertly, past us probably thought we were out of our minds! But we did this together. Falling together and picking each other up. It was one of our best date nights.
4) Let them know what you admire about them
Middle age can be a cycle of working, raising kids, keeping a family together while planning for retirement. What makes your partner unique and special can very easily be blinded by our busy schedules. If your partner is good at something, compliment them. Boast, in front of your partner, to others about what you admire about them. They will feel reaffirmed. They will know you have their back, always. My husband has a strong business sense. I’ve learned to compliment him on his ideas. He also expresses to me his admiration of my writing skills. When he does this, I feel appreciated, special and motivated to do more writing. What do you admire about your partner? How can you share your admiration daily with them?
3) Don’t take each other too seriously
In the first few years of my marriage I used to take my husbands words and actions so seriously. This was likely because I took myself so seriously in striving to be the perfect wife and mother. As the years have passed, I’ve learned to relax a little; to forgive myself more. No one is perfect. It’s pointless to even try. As a result, I’m more able to see my husband’s shortcomings as part of what makes him unique and special. If he teases me, I tease him back and we both laugh about it.
2) Try something new together
This can be as simple as taking a walk together on a local beach if you’ve never done that. Visit a new restaurant. Take an art or dance class together. Volunteer at an orphanage or soup kitchen. For the adrenaline junkies try zip lining or bungee jumping. For me, I’m learning how to flirt with my husband simply because flirting does not come naturally to me. And my husband knows this. Which is why it works well to keep things spicy and unexpected. Sometimes I walk up to him and give him a kiss when he’s not expecting it. Or I grab his butt when he’s not looking.
1) Express your feelings regularly
Communication is key. Verbalize your emotions, good and bad. Create an environment where you both feel safe and free to share any feelings you have without fear of repercussions. Greet each other with excitement, a hug and kiss at the door when you get home. These small acts compound over time and make the difference in keeping a relationship loving, exciting and alive. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Your partner knows you are not perfect. Be willing to share your fears and feelings and acknowledge mistakes. My spouse is more open and supportive when he knows I’m being vulnerable about a shortcoming. Vulnerability and acceptance helps to set a foundation of trust and reassurance that can carry any relationship through a lifetime and beyond.
What secrets work for you to keep your relationship exciting and fresh? Share below!